WHERE HAVE ALL THE SOCCER PLAYERS GONE?
BROUGHTON PARK 30 VALE OF LUNE 26

The little orange tractor awoke to a crisp, sunny morning with mist caressing the distant Pennines. His bodywork gleamed as his trembling chassis awaited the turn of the key, because Kubota, that was his name, knew that there was work to do before the Vale of Lune arrived.

Courtesy of the Lancaster Guardian

http://www2.lancastertoday.co.uk/slidedropfolder/vale902/index.html

IS THIS A TRY LINE I SEE BEFORE ME?

VALE OF LUNE  8  NORTHWICH  7
NORTH TWO WEST

Of course the waters had to break sometime. Since joining the Vale of Lune it must have come as no surprise to Craig Orrick that he had been given an unsuitable nickname, after all he must have been living with it for years. After his match winning try against Northwich, the clubhouse was buzzing like a coach load of bards on a tour of Stratford on Avon.

"BRANDY FOR THE PARSON" (R. KIPLING)

VALE OF LUNE  11  CHESTER  34
NORTH TWO WEST

The East Terrace was awash with Armagnac, kindly dispensed by Ball Sponsor George Dickson, from a bottomless hip flask, a flavour of France with a glowing afterburn which was enhanced by the blackcurrant and liquorice toffees supplied by Elwyn Watkins. This combination produced an intense flavour on even the most refined palate, lying somewhere between Night Nurse and Polyclens, challenging, robust, with a surprising bouquet. Well worth another try, perhaps next time with aniseed balls or Polo mints.

DAWSONS PIES AND PIERCED NIPPLES

TYLDESLEY  6   VALE OF LUNE  13
NORTH TWO WEST

Dawson's Pies are famous, having not only been voted the "Number One Pies in the North West", but they are also supplied to Tyldesley Rugby Union Club. So it came as no surprise that the Major was spotted getting his laughing gear round a quality product in the Sponsor's Lounge at St Georges Park prior to kick off.