Vale of Lune RUFC

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Fixtures: 15th March

Vale of Lune	Score	Opposition
1st XV	v	No fixture
'A' Team	v	No fixture
Vikings	v	No fixture
'B' Team	v	West Park 3 (Miller Homes Div 3)
Sunday
Vale Ladies	v
Junior Colts	v

Match Report v Northwich

BLANK DAY, ALL ROUND, DOWN ON THE FARM

NORTHWICH 20 VALE OF LUNE 5
NORTH TWO WEST

Once again The Wheatsheaf in Garstang proved to be the perfect venue to recover after the events at Northwich, a plate of fish and chips, pints of Black Sheep, and the World Cup on the telly.
Suddenly the peace was shattered. Almost from nowhere a family dispute erupted. It began at low level, but voices soon became raised, the effing and jeffing began in earnest, parental responsibility was questioned, as was communal sex life or lack of it.....

Ladies v Carlisle

THE BATTLE OF CARLISLE

CARLISLE LADIES 7 VALE LADIES 10
RFUW Championship North

A sub less Vale travelled to Carlisle with only 15 players only to be faced by a side who were intent on STAMPING their authority on the game, but thanks to Vale's gritty determination they failed to do so.

Match Report v Broughton Park

NOT QUITE A WONDER BRA: BUT A TRIUMPH FOR PARK

VALE OF LUNE 12 BROUGHTON PARK 22
NORTH TWO WEST

Above the tree line on the East Terrace at Powder House Lane, sheep safely graze in their paddock, that is until the other night, when they decided to widen their horizons and seek pastures new with a stroll down Watery Lane. Led by Sean they began to munch their way through the herbaceous borders and chew on well manicured lawns.

The ever vigilant Neighbourhood Watch were quickly on the scene to head 'em up and move 'em out. Bo Peep Entwistle was woken from his dream of becoming Gordon Brown's senior tax adviser by flashing a huge torch in his dressing gown.
'That's a funny place to put a torch,' mused Enty, before grabbing his crook and a well thumbed copy of 'One Man and His Dog'

Match Report v Winnington Park

THERE AIN'T ANY WARRENS DEEP ENOUGH

WINNINGTON PARK 22 VALE OF LUNE 17
NORTH TWO WEST

The President of Winnington Park, Roy Palin, greeted the Vale of Lune as they clambered off the coach at Burrows Hill and invited everyone to enjoy the day as the home side celebrated their Centenary season.
Perhaps he had noted the high proportion of fresh faced players who gaily alighted, when he suggested a go on the bouncy castle. As always, a nod is as good as a kick up the backside for the Alies, who immediately started tucking trousers into socks and removing false teeth. But before a session on the rubber was begun, a beer tent was spotted selling award winning locally brewed, cask ale.

Ladies v Hartlepool

VALE LADIES 38 HARTLEPOOL LADIES 0

The Vale Ladies travelled away for their first game in the RFUW Championship North and kicked off the season with a real bang!

Match Report v Rochdale

FORGET ABOUT RED BULL, TRY H2O

VALE OF LUNE 10 ROCHDALE 25
NORTH 2 WEST

A shower at midday freshened and greened up the playing surface, 'Take the blades up another half an inch Mr Christian!' chilli and braised steak tempted the taste buds, the jovial, friendly Rochdale committee and supporters flooded into the Clubhouse. The highly respected and popular David Leslie, in his role as President of the Manchester and District Rugby Union Referees Society, who has happy memories of when he officiated at Powder House Lane, was beginning his tour of rugby clubs.

'A' Team v Rochdale 2nds

TEN TRIES TO TOP THE TABLE

VALE A 56 ROCHDALE 7

After the trials and tribulations of last season, the Vale A Team have bounced back in style and following a 10 try victory against Rochdale sir proudly at the top of Miller Homes League Div 1

Match Report - New Brighton

HE WAS A BOLD MAN WHO FIRST SWALLOWED AN OYSTER

NEW BRIGHTON 27 VALE OF LUNE 26
North 2 West

When two oysters go out walking it's the first that does the talking!. The outcome of this conundrum might have been resolved at 'Old Nell's', hard by the A6 in Bilsborrow, but there was no room at the inn for the Oyster Festival. or on the car park to be more precise.
So with a yell of 'High Ho Shellfish', Tony, the driver, whipped up the horses and it was away to 'The Wheatsheaf' at Garstang for a debrief on the days happenings. Between the snorting of Alistair Richard's nostrils, the periodic diplomatic outbursts from Diggler, burbling from the Major, Gilly and Cowps reminiscing when they could buy a pint of mild for eleven pence, and David Schuyler spending his ill gotten gains having won the sweep on the time of the first try in the England game, a steady supply of pints dulled the pain at Reeds Lane.

Match Report vs Bowdon

THREE YEARS ON FOR JOHN

BOWDON 31 VALE OF LUNE 30
NORTH TWO WEST

Stuart Vernon gives his final report of the season -
The sun was high, the motorway quiet, Hale slumbered like a contented cat, silver darts took off and landed at nearby Manchester Airport and Dwaine eased an air conditioned Travellers Choice onto the car park at Clay Lane Sports Centre. He opened the doors to let in a wall of heat; blazers on or off, that was the question?

Bowdon's old clubhouse is now all shuttered up, but behind the goalposts a new building has been erected. Single storey, bright, airy, the walls displaying the club's memorabilia; the bar furniture was a perfect mix of tall and short tables, ideal resting places for glasses, although the Major did complain that he was having to drink 'smooth' again.

Match Report vs Broughton Park

1032 miles: HIGH PRESSURE OVER THE VALE

VALE OF LUNE 7 BROUGHTON PARK 41
NORTH 2 WEST

Back in October 1987 the urbane weather forecaster Michael Fish calmed the nation down after a concerned viewer had rung in to say that a hurricane was on the way. 'Well, don't worry', said a surprised Michael, 'there isn't'.
Famous last words. The same could be said for the Vale's second meeting of the season against Broughton Park, because all who were at Houghend Crescent in December thought there was little chance that the Vale would be swept aside again like the proverbial chaff in the wind.
Well they were .......

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