HE WAS A BOLD MAN WHO FIRST SWALLOWED AN OYSTER

NEW BRIGHTON 27  VALE OF LUNE 26
North 2 West

When two oysters go out walking it's the first that does the talking!. The outcome of this conundrum might have been resolved at 'Old Nell's', hard by the A6 in Bilsborrow, but there was no room at the inn for the Oyster Festival. or on the car park to be more precise.
So with a yell of 'High Ho Shellfish', Tony, the driver, whipped up the horses and it was away to 'The Wheatsheaf' at Garstang for a debrief on the days happenings. Between the snorting of Alistair Richard's nostrils, the periodic diplomatic outbursts from Diggler, burbling from the Major, Gilly and Cowps reminiscing when they could buy a pint of mild for eleven pence, and David Schuyler spending his ill gotten gains having won the sweep on the time of the first try in the England game, a steady supply of pints dulled the pain at Reeds Lane.

The day began digitally. John Adams was ecstatic. Not only did the lads turn up wearing their Sci Mentor (Sports Nutrition sponsor) shirts - a swaythe of rippling muscles - but the Travellers Choice coach arrived with the club's logo affixed to its sides. Exit the Commercial Manager wreathed in smiles.
'Tom Tom' Gerald guided the coach to Leasowe, a trouble free journey apart from a contretemps with an Audi at the exit to Wallasey Tunnel, and Diggler asking the Alies for a biro to do a crossword!!

The New Brighton Four went aloft for a sumptuous meal, Collette and Kathryn skipped around in the sunshine, Dave Kidd and the Pirates flew up and down the rigging, while Ann and Tony pondered the state of the property market.

Once underway the pattern of the game quickly unfolded. The home side's pack were fired up, the Vale grappled, Phil Jackson was shown a yellow card, the prop trudging off the field with an expression as if he had been asked to reduce James Joyce's Ulysses, to a hundred words.

Down 8-0, the Vale exploded into the game with four thrilling tries in eight minutes. Alistair, before his nose job, raced round behind the posts for a try following a quickly taken tap and a passage of slick passing, Andy Garnett converted in the twenty ninth minute. Four minutes later Andy thumped a penalty against an upright, a New Brighton defender made a hash of clearing up, Danny Lin torpedoed in from nowhere to claim the try, again converted by Andy.

New Brighton struggled to find a comfort zone and their fragile nerves received another shredding when Adam Armstrong charged down a kick in his own half to set the Vale on the rampage. Mike 'I don't need a cheetah to race against' Huntington disappeared into the distance and once his whirling pins started to falter, support arrived; Andy scored and converted his own try.
Like frisky colts let loose in a field the Vale were here. there and everywhere. Andy Miller pranced his way down the right flank, Hunty made a neat break, John Moller touched down in the thirty seventh minute, a deserved try for the 'A' Team captain on his debut.

Vale did not need the half time whistle. They were running hot, the tyres had reached the correct temperature and they were pulling away from the opposition in the manner of Lewis and Alonso. The interval did allow New Brighton to re group. re assess and devise a strategy to get back into a game that was fast disappearing over the horizon, the Vale leading 26-8.
It was back to basics, let the forwards make the hard yards and build the pressure. The Vale grimly held on, but with Malcolm Fowler in the blood bin and Alan Whittaker in the sin bin, the deficit was soon being cut back.  Worse was to follow for the Vale, Danny Lin dislocated a collar bone making a brave tackle and Alistair went off to have his nose plugged in an attempt to stem the flow of claret.

Another forward drive produced a third New Brighton try with fourteen minutes remaining. However, the introduction of Dave Halliwell brought stability to the pack and with the red segment on the stadium clock narrowing it looked as though the Vale were going to stagger over the line, in particular as the home side had a forward in the sin bin.
With five minutes to go disaster struck and against the run of play. New Brighton's scrum half, Mike Gallimore, what a character!!, broke away from his own twenty two. He swept through the Vale defence like a pizza driver on double time. The Vale trailed in his wake as a nightmare scenario unfolded, Dudley Kingswinford all over again, and barring a complete breakdown there could only be one outcome. Chris Dale touched down between the posts making Stephen Dean's conversion a formality, and a one point victory.

It was heartbreaking for the whole Vale party; spirits were lifted at Garstang after the disappointment of failing to pull a mussel at the Oyster Festival.

VALE OF LUNE A. Miller, J.Bryan, J.Moller, A.Garnett, A.Richards (Rep A.Bolsover 55), A.Armstrong, M.Huntington, P.Jackson, D.Schuyler, A.Cowey (Rep D.Halliwell 60), M.Speight, D.Perry, A.Whittaker, D.Lin (Rep L.Acton 50), M.Fowler (Capt)

Stuart Vernon - Press and Communications Director
(Ed: Welcome back Stuart, its been a long summer without the weekly reports)