ALOHA MORECAMBE

VALE OF LUNE  14  DURHAM CITY  23
EDF INTERMEDIATE CUP:  1st ROUND

It is not every evening that the County Bar is filled with the scent of Hibiscus and Hawaiian Tropic and a collection of players dressed as though they were off for an audition with Felix Mendelssohn and his Hawaiian Serenaders with not a ukulele in sight.

 The reason for the appearances of these South Pacific hopefuls was the players annual visit to the pleasure spots of Morecambe and perhaps the odd Harvey Wallbanger in the Bradford Arms, an Hawaiian Cocktail in the Bath Hotel, a Fallen Angel in Ma Murphy's or a Between the Sheets in The Lord Nelson.
By the time this motley group, full of happy talk, arrived in Morecambe, the sun had long since set across the Bay, but a warm breeze hinted at some enchanted evening ahead for the lucky ones, after all there is nothing like a dame.

Meanwhile, back in the Coconut Lounge, with a portrait of the Queen smiling down on them, the Alies, some of them looking younger than springtime, the light was not too good, adjusted their trusses, turned the hearing aids up a notch and readied themselves for the England France game. They had been invited to wander up and down Queen Street with the boys, but for many their dancing days were strictly limited. The idea of tap dancing on the bar at The Joiners was fraught with danger, after one of the party had fallen in the bath, or was it the bidet, when practising.

After helping to celebrate Enty's birthday since one of the clock, they were in enough trouble as it was and it seemed more sensible to sit at the round table and watch the telly. There was some talk of pacing out the evening, a real non starter as this had been tried before, so after lively discussion about the financial implications outlined by Alistair Darling earlier in the week, it was over to Stuart Barnes and Miles Harrison.
The evening pulsed and throbbed. A flag of St George was unfurled, the intensity of the rhythms from the main bar were in harmony with the events in the Stade De France as 'The Bootlaces' sent their fans delirious. Cockeyed optimists or what? Bring on The Boks!

It was slightly different in the Vale of Lune, Durham City confrontation in the EDF Energy Intermediate Cup earlier in the day. Vale's cast included new faces, scrum half Owen Hughes and prop Scott Foy, with Leon Jackson, in only his third game joinig him on the other side of the scrum. Scott Warrington, James Hodder and Adam Macluskie have a combined total of eight first team appearances, a real Light Rum Cocktail.

Durham quickly had the shaker out and without being too showy, they rattled into a ten point lead. In the twentieth eighth minute the Vale produced a Highball of a score that was far more than a slice and ice; it was all fruit, brightly coloured straws and salt around the glass. Owen Hughes began the move with a mint crisp pass, Ian Bird with a kick like a Moscow Mule, made a break but it was James 'Little Devil' Hodder who raced away for his third try of the season converted by Andy Miller..

Further scores from the visitors, a penalty and a try, confirmed there would be no Tequila Sunrise for the Vale who had played with spirit throughout. After a quick shower there was enough time to apply the fake tan and slip into the tropical gear before boarding a fleet of taxis, because Bali Ha'i was calling, 'Come to me, come to me.'

VALE OF LUNE: S.Warrington, A.Richards, A.Macluskie, I.Bird (Capt), J.Hodder, A.Miller (Rep A.Bolsover 79), O.Hughes, S.Foy, D.Schuyler, L.Jackson (Rep L.Farnworth 57), L.Acton, D.Perry, J.Clarkson, G.Barton, M.Fowler.