HOW MANY GRADUATES ARE REQUIRED TO RAISE THE FLAG?

VALE OF LUNE  43  WINNINGTON PK  17
NORTH TWO WEST

By Stuart Vernon

There were gaps in the Alies ranks for this bottom tightening relegation encounter. Gerald was on a shuttle run to Manchester Airport, Winny was being the perfect Grandpa, Benny was at a wedding and a sickly Enty was on a beef broth diet.

The remaining Alies on duty tucked into braised oxtail or roast ham for the pre match lunch, apart from The Major and the President, who were guests of the sponsors. The Major was spotted loitering close to where the oxtails were being served, drooling over the hot plates before ambling back to the County Bar for a healthy buffet.

As always the conversation ranged far and wide during lunch. The percentage rise in the water rate, worked out to the fourth decimal place by Muggy, the importance of not only finding a reliable plumber but holding on to him, surfing the net for car or travel insurance and Gilly's experiences at Harrogate's annual dinner.

The tales rippled back and forth and because most had arrived early and forgotten that games in March kick off at three, the Tetley's flowed merrily along. Little mention was made of the imminent encounter with Winnington Park because in these relegation haunted days thoughts and predictions are considered to be harbingers of doom and are rarely voiced out loud.

At the end of the game some of the dark clouds had been lifted, Northwich had lost at Broughton Park; seven tries had been scored by the Vale in their highest points total of the season and they had moved once again to the nose bleeding heights of one place off the drop zone. But the mad waltz to safety has four more sections yet to negotiate before the final score cards are raised.

James Hodder, who has been on the new fashionable raw meat diet, opened the scoring with a sniping, snappy try. When James is in this sort of mood he has all the allure of a wasp going after the juicy jam filled croissant being eaten on the patio on a perfect summer's morning. He was darting, swooping throughout, occasionally he was swatted away, but he came back for more, even when he was posted onto the wing where he continued to sting and buzz, collecting the final try to neatly bracket a highly satisfying performance.

Other players had a dip in the honey pot. Danny Lin nipped in for a couple of neat ries, Craig Orrick rounded off a dancing run from Neil Bennetts, while a combination of James H and Craig skewered open Park's defence for Adam Armstrong's try, Adam's polished performance included four conversions.

Like James H, Neil was in authoritative form. He has recently swapped his postman's walk for the steady beat of a police officer and he was another player off and running straight from the first whistle. Neil accelerated through the merest of gaps, not afraid to push the loud pedal to the boards and with the open road beckoning he turned up the wick; just the ticket!

In many games the well tended dead ball areas at The Lane tend to be neglected but Neil is one of the few players who is fully aware of their potential. He floated a number of kicks over the heads of the defenders into wide open spaces to exploit the potential of James H. Although cast in the role of provider, Neil touched down for the second try, his first of the season, after a sweeping Vale attack from deep in their own half that involved Craig, Adam and Alistair "let me out of the hive" Richards.

There were rumours that a new guest beer would be on sale but there was nothing old or peculiar about the Vale's fifth league win of the season, although one senses that the remaining games may be of the shirt lifting variety.
There was something traditional in the Vale's performance against a battling Park side. Wing forward Ryan McKibben grafted hard and fully deserved his two tries, number eight Ben Richardson opened his side's scoring in the second half and Nathan Archer converted one of Ryan's tries.

To answer the question posed in the report headline - prior to kick off four graduates failed to run the colours up the mast, it took a former newsagent with a PhD from the University of Life to hoist the flags aloft where they proudly flew in the strong wind.

VALE OF LUNE: A.Armstrong, A.Richards, N.Bennetts, C.Orrick, J.Bryan, N.Foster (Rep O.Hughes 27), J.Hodder, P.Jackson, G.Barton, D.Halliwell (Rep G.Speak 70), L.Farnworth, D.Perry, C.Lamb, D.Lin, M.Fowler (Capt) (Rep D.Schuyler 68)

Match Sponsors - Border Asset Managemant Ltd
Match Ball Sponsor - Brian Lister.
Bannister Bates Man of the Match - Lee Farnworth